“My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.” – Rodney Dangerfield
“I live my life by the moon, by the moon (turn off the lights girl) If it’s high play it low if it’s harvest go slow and if it’s full then go” – Timbaland
I am dreaming.
In deep REM sleep, the evening birds of the forest are flying playfully about my head and the smell of wild roses fills the air. Then suddenly, from out of nowhere, an intense white light blinds me and sends me reeling backwards into an endless pit of lights of all kind. Street lights, fluorescent bulbs, all burning tiny holes in my retinas. Falling, falling, falling, I scream and jolt myself awake.
I try to gather my composure as I sit bolt upright in bed and notice the light streaming through the window and realize that I must have overslept. I get up, shower and make coffee. As I sip some Morning Glory Winter Blend, I look at the clock on the microwave. Its 417 AM. WTF?!
I run to the window and look out.
“Holy squints!“ I say to myself as I process the scene in front of me. There, lit up brighter than Devil’s Tower in Close Encounters of the Third Kind, the rodeo grounds lights pulsated through the foggy sky. The clear white lights were bright enough to call you home to the sweet lord. But, why?
Was there an all night broomball tournament?
Are the Moose getting top-secret practice time?
Maybe this is part of the new ice-time schedule for the rink?
Has Parks and Rec discovered that they have the power to turn night into day?
Now, wide-awake, I hop in my car for a drive around town, and I notice something.
We gotta lotta lights in Jackson – and they are on all night long.
Case in point: the LIBRARY! If I were to park my car out front – I could literally read a book with all the artificial light streaming from the building – not to mention the parking lot.
You could get me to buy an argument for safety concerns in some places, but inside a closed library? I don’t think so.
Why are we tough, environmentally sincere, outdoorsy types so afraid of the dark?
Turn out the lights man…the party’s over.